Oh. My. Garden!!1! It was brought to my attention by the Tasty Ham that there is a new item in town. I found this on the DDO Store Sales and Promotion page…

I’m reading along, seeing some nice specials. Half off Level sigils, not bad, have to grab me one of them. Huge bags, pretty awesome - will keep my stalks nice and warm as winter approaches. Sharn Syndicate, good stuff, I hear that’s a fun pack.. could use a little more veggie in it I’m sure, but still fun. Then I see this blasphemy:

Holiday Turkey x10
This holiday turkey heals the consumer 50 hit points over 1 minute and gives various morale bonuses for 10 minutes (this effect lasts through death, rests and entering a dungeon). Can be eaten outside of taverns.  Contains 10 single-use turkeys.
Level Usable: 3+
Classes Usable: All
Store Location: Healing > Food Items
Price: 150 Points

Holiday Turkey? HOLIDAY TURKEY!? I’m not even in the game yet and there’s already a freaking Turkey?? It’s not even nutritious! What is this treachery?! That must be what I get for taking a little time for myself to go help Katsupo. This is an outrage to vegetables everywhere!

The Tasty Ham has a point. It won’t be long before I’m kicked to the curb for this newer, younger food item, just like his salty old hide was when my gloriously nutritious self came to town. Looks like I’ll need to give in, and work with my arch nemesis to take care of this Turkey threat. Watch out Holiday Turkey, soon you will be “off the menu”, if you catch my drift.

Mwuhahaha…

*Foxboy whispers something in Broccoli’s ear off camera*

Jail time? Really? Oh well then *clear’s throat*… by “off the menu” I totally didn’t mean that as a real threat against the Holiday Turkey, it was meant in a loving “ha ha” kind of way, not a murderous “I’m out to get you” kind of way. Yeeah, that’s it.