The time has come once again to answer your maaaaagic holiday questions! Remember to have a fun Festivult, and eat those cookies - they’re good for you!

Dear Jester,

Does quest difficulty or level affect the drop rate of coins?

- Brian 14

Absolutely not! There is an equal chance of coins appearing in chests no matter what the difficulty, or level of quest.

At a recent party down at the Leaky Dingy, I was served a very tasty dish. I asked the server what it was called and he replied “Elf Pudding, the Festivult Jester’s favorite holiday treat!”

My question is, is it made FOR elves, BY elves, or OF elves?

- redspecter23

Actually, the name “Elf Pudding” represents a class of puddings that contain special ingredients that were originally grown exclusively on Aerenal. In the past, therefore, it was made BY elves, but nowadays these ingredients can be found throughout Eberron. However, people still refer to these puddings as “Elf Pudding” in honor of that ancient island kingdom.

Are the exceptional reward prizes only for gold coin turn ins, or do I have a chance for, say, a Sun Blade or +4 Tome from copper turn ins, even if at a much reduced rate?

- Cermunan

It is theoretically possible to get exceptional items from even Copper Coins! However, you are approximately ten times more likely to be struck by lightning (if you believe the research which shows that you have a one in 78,125,000 chance of being struck by natural lightning.) I say natural because, naturally, there’s a lot of electricity being thrown around by wizards, sorcerers and the like.

Essentially, every time you turn in a coin, there is a chance to be “upgraded” to the next loot tier on a special chart. So, you could get very lucky and get upgraded all the way to a +4 tome! The better the coin, the further up the ladder you start, so your chances of being upgraded to awesomeness are better with a gold coin than with a silver or copper because you have fewer tiers to try and get upgraded through. Be sure to check out my 2009 letters for even more info about getting exceptional rewards.

What should I get my sweetie for Festivult when she has everything a raging Half Orc Barbarian could want?

- AZgreentea

Does your sweetie have a necklace made of Blood Stones? If not, perhaps several thousand trips to the Menectarun Desert might be in order. If she does have one, well, I guess I’d say you should offer to wash the dishes for a year, or something…

Where in Ebberon are these Festivult items manufactured, and are there tours?

- ericrd

Festivult items are manufactured specifically for the festival in my workshop in Everice by artificers and cooks of House Ghallanda and House Cannith! Ultimately, if you are willing to face the incredible danger of crossing into Everice (a vast and mysterious icy land south of Xen’drik, where you are likely to be either killed by ferocious creatures or slowly freeze to death), I’m not going to send you home un-toured.

Dear Mr. Jester,

Thank you very much for the cookies and cakes you have already given me. The Shavarath cakes and White Abishai cookies proved invaluable in a nearly failed attempt to “Tame the Flames” recently in House Kundarak.

I’ve been a good girl busily collecting more coins for you. However, I have to ask… why do you perch so high? I misplaced my feather falling item between lives and the height makes me dreadfully dizzy.

Also, what exactly IS in that cask you always have beside you? Can I have some? Maybe it will calm my nerves as I stand beside you waaaay up there with every breeze threatening to knock me down.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Katzklaw

Good question! Originally, my plan was to distribute Festivult goodies at ground-level, but then I became aware of a Coin Lord mandate that all vendors in Stormreach pay a fee to transact business in the city, or face, shall we say, unpleasantness…

However, upon looking closely at the charter, I noticed that this fee was to be levied against all businesses, “…whose structures or vendors be located on the grounds of Stormreach.” Well, there is no “ground” in the air! So, I employed the use of floating platforms to avoid all contact with the ground around Stormreach, and am therefore able to take part in this festival while honoring the rules set by the excellent and productive Coin Lords!

As far as my cask goes, well, umm, let’s just say that one must stay hydrated when standing for weeks at a time. It may smell a bit like Dwarven Ale, but I assure you, it’s (hic) not… This letter brought to you in part by Old Sully’s Grog. After you quench your thirst for blood, quench your thirst with a great tasting refreshing Grog from Old Sully, available in your local tavern. Always quest responsibly.

Could you please tell us your Festivult story of the history of the Festival Twig?

- Stanley Nicholas

I’ve heard several stories about this incredible item!

The First Story:

There once was a “friend of the Coin Lords” who was looking for a remote location to create a workshop. This “friend” found himself at wits end, slowly being chilled to his last breath upon the icy landscape of Everice, wishing only for a small fire from which to survive the night.

This “friend” appealed to all of the powers within Eberron to save him. To his surprise, an incredible wind blew from the north, a tornado of dust and debris carried from lands far away, perhaps as far as the jungles of Xen’drik itself! After the wind died down, this “friend” prepared for death, and began walking toward a small hollow in the ice from which to rest his mortal soul.

To his surprise, he arrived to find his salvation - a small twig left behind by the powerful wind! He used this twig to light a fire, which kept him safe through the night, and the morning brought life-giving sun and warmth.

I’ve heard it said that this “friend’s” workshop is located at the place where the twig was found! To give thanks, this “friend” pledged that no citizen of Eberron be without a twig, so that they might have life-giving fire in the event they find themselves in a similar position. Thus, the Festival Twig was born!

The Second Story:

A certain Producer working for Turbine, Inc. was a member of a founding guild on Ghallanda, playing anonymously. The guild had a saying when they’d open a chest to find undesirable items inside. They’d say, “…this chest has nothing but stones and twigs in it!” When the time came to create items for Festivult, they needed an idea for a “booby prize” - an item that had little use. A certain Producer in question remembered playing with the guild on Ghallanda, and said, “we should make it a Twig!” Others agreed, and the Festival Twig was born!

The Twig spent many years being a sad scoffed-at gift from my packs. Even more loathed than coal! Every Season my mailbox would be flooded with requests to make the Twig DO something. So, one year the Twig found new purpose…

Jack Frostbite arrived in Eberron with his Risia games, and Jack had a brilliant idea to put the Twig to work. The Twig was the natural shape for wands, so the Twig became an ingredient to create frosty themed wands in the Risian Crafting Altar. But that wasn’t the only practical application of Twigs… through a lot of maaagical experimentation, a secret recipe was created. By combining snow, coal, winter motes, and a twig, a Snowma…..I mean… Snow Elemental could be summoned to fight for you! (The Twig turned out to be perfect to make its hair).

And that my friends, are the stories of the Festival Twig. I’ll let you decide which story you believe.

If you were a cookie, what flavor would you be, and what would be your superpower?

- BruceTheHoon

A Jester Cookie would almost certainly have to taste like incredible handsomeness. My superpower would be to be able to carry an incredibly large amount of items and still look like I’m not carrying much at all!

So I guess in a way, you could say that my Cookie superpower would be like the Cookie Jars – they hold a lot of Festivult treats but they always seem like the same size on the outside. Except then you could put the Cookie of Cookie Jar power in a Cookie Jar. Cookie jarception.

Your Cookieness,

Far be it from me to question your altruistic motives, but what exactly - oh great donator of cookies and gifts - do you actually use all these wondrous coins for, that are made from copper, silver and gold (that coincidentally appear on the corpses of our dead foes only while you reside on our unworthy plane?)

And, if you forgive my asking, will you ever have enough of said coins to put an end to your most welcome exploits in Eberron, or can we hope to enjoy your awe inspiring presence for years to come?

best regards,

your most loyal servant and admirer

This one’s easy! I use all of those coins to pay the salaries of the artificers and cooks who make Festivult items and cookies! Rumors that these coins are sent to the Coin Lords to fill their vast loot-filled Vaults are completely unfounded.

As far as the second question goes, it would take a world-shattering event to bring this celebration to an end. So, it’d take something like one of Eberron’s moons crashing into the earth, or perhaps an invasion from Khyber!

Hello everyone! I’ll be back later this week answering some letters from the DDO community, but until then, here’s a festive poem for the holiday!

Festivult 2011

Twas the night before Festivult and all through House C
The kobolds were mining and squeaking with glee
The Time Foreman’s deals were arranged with great care
To dodge paradox futures that used to be there

The runearms were nestled all snug on the wrist
While maaaagical powers were called forth from the fist
And “Arties” with their goggles and dogs (with their bark)
had just settled down when I heard them remark

“I wonder how long ’til the Jester gets here?
I’ve noticed the Planes are moving quite near”
The moon on the breast of the newly laid floor
Did seem a bit bigger than it had been before

When deep in the cookie jars there arose such a clatter
That the players looked in packs to see what was the matter
The cookies had changed their effects in a flash
(and one of them gained the ability to slash!)

And then, with a jingling, coins showed up in loot
With Festivult markings that none could dispute
As they gathered up all of the coins they had found
They froze when they heard an unusual sound

“RUUUUR Gold! UUURG Silver!
Oooog copper, mmmm cakes!
Ruur cookies, mmm snowballs
UURG candy cane skates
…….Hyeeearrrghhh Baby!”

A Taken was shambling down Silversmith Road
And the party raised arms ready to unload
But before they could cast, shoot weapon, or attack
The form of the Taken had already turned back

He was dressed in a fur, with a kama in hand…
It was only that monk they’d met in Gwylan’s Stand
“Man you should’ve seen the look on your face!”
“How’d you do that? Taken aren’t a playable race!”

“I got this from the Jester, come have a look, see…”
As he reached in his pocket, and pulled out a cookie
So hideous it was, I cried “Eeeeew, away from my sight!”
But he said I could be a Taken, if I’d just take a bite.

I like reading through all the letters sent to me during Festivult. Today I thought I’d take a moment to answer a few!

Hey Mr Jester,

When are you leaving us for the year? And when is the last day to turn in coins?

- immortaldark

There’s still plenty of time. My tickets for passage back to Everice Workshop (courtesy of House Lyrandar) aboard the Sailing Slaybell Airship indicate that I won’t be leaving until early Zarantyr. Don’t procrastinate though, gather and trade in those coins!

Happy Festivult!
The Jester

——-

Dear Mr. Jester, sir.

It has come to my attention that WE STILL HAVE NO DRUIDS! It would be very kind not only to me, but for everyone of Stormreach that for Festivult this year, we can haz dem? Pleeeeeeeeasse?

- TehGnate

I will be sure to pass your letter on to the DDO Developers! Without them, even I wouldn’t have my maaaagical powers of Festivult! I know they’ve been working hard, and will bring such new features as soon as they’re able. You’ve been good little boys, girls, and constructs lately, so I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you! Just remember, if you’re naughty, I’ll make sure they replace the natural powers of Druids with the natural powers of coal.

Happy Festivult!
The Jester

——-

Dear J,

in all of the world no one has the style you do, it would be an  honor to make a wish to you. My wish is to obtain the monk class, simply no more and no less, thank you Jester.

- sieg121

Well sieg121, if you’re a free player who doesn’t yet have the monk, there are lots of ways you can approach it:

• There’s a very good deal on the VIP program right now (9.99 a month)! That is one quick way to get access to a monk, and you’ll score free monthly points to buy extras.
  
• If you plan on staying as a free player, I hope since you wrote this letter that you took advantage of the 50% off sale that happened earlier this month during our Daily Deals of Festivult!
  
• There have also been some excellent sales on point bundles that can help put more loot in your stocking.
• If you haven’t already, don’t forget to enter the sweepstakes to win 100,000 Turbine Points -  with that many points, you could buy a whole monastery of monks!
• I hear the Eberron Chronicle bestows points to random readers who answer comments and trivia questions, maybe that would be a good place to try for some extra points to put towards your monkly efforts?

Alas I have no monks tucked away in  my bags of holding, but I hope these tips are helpful to you and bring you a monk for Festivult!

Happy Festivult!
The Jester

——-

Dear Jester,

Please don’t grant us world peace. The place would be boring. Grant us the old Chinese curse: May we live in interesting times.

- PuppyZwolle

I have good news for you PuppyZwolle! You have no fear of a boring and peaceful Stormreach. If it’s one thing I’ve noticed on my trips to your fair city is each year you’re bombarded with some plight or other. Everything from conspiracies to infestations (or even invasions) seem to happen constantly in Stormreach. In fact, one year, when I went to your marketplace to gather coins, I was shocked to see that in place of the market tent there was a crater in the ground where a devil army had blown it up!

Happy Festivult!
The Jester

——-

Dear Jester,

Where do Sunblades come from? Are those the famed Sword of Tyseus (sp?) that Lord Gerald Goodblade told me about?

- Happysword

I’m afraid not my friend… the Sword of Tesyus is actually in Black Anvil Forest. Speak with Sir Kinze MacDunnam, I believe he’s looking for some help with that. As for Sunblades? Well… when a Radiance II bastard sword and a Mineral II shortsword love each other very much…

You get the idea.

Happy Festivult!
The Jester

——-

To “Festivult Jester”,

It is said that you are an “anonymous friend of the Coin Lords”. I am here to call you out, Coin Lord Yorrick Amanatu! Your disguise isn’t fooling anyone any more. I find it just a little TOO convenient that the one city ward the Jester isn’t in is the SAME ward where Amanatu is… who also “coincidentally” is a dwarf… who also “coincidentally” has a beard. The other Coin Lords are too short, skinny, or female to pose as the Jester of the Festivult. On top of that, Lord Amanatu, you’ve shown yourself as able to move quickly between locations just like the “Festivult Jester”: one moment I see you in the Market dealing with the Sharn Syndicate, and then I see you in Lords March Plaza!

Maybe if you Coin Lords spent more time fight monsters like we adventurers and less time trading cookies our city wouldn’t be in this Droaam mess!

Good day sir.
- Concerned citizen

Dear “Concerned Citizen”,

I should probably begin my response by informing you that I am the Jester, and therefor have a roster of everyone’s names. You may think you are anonymous, but you are not. My absence from the Marketplace is not indicative of me being Yorrick Amanatu. For your information, the reason for me not being in the market is this:

When I came to your city after the devil invasion, they had me climb up onto some ricketty enchanted scaffolding above the blast zone. I can assure you I was none too pleased to be so closely positioned near the source of devil legions teeming beneath the city. I haven’t been back to the Market since. Sure, they tell me that the Twelve has placed a maaagical seal to ward the marketplace tent and keep it “safe”. I don’t trust it - people are going in and out of the Subterrane constantly, you can’t tell me that something couldn’t slip out in the process. I’m not the only one of this mindset - you’ll note that all the high class brokers are found not beneath the tent, but down on Silversmith Road!

I appreciate your cold nature by trying to scare all the good little boys, girls, and warforged with your claims that there’s no such thing as the Festivult Jester. I assure you that while I’m a friend of the Coinlords, I am not a Coin Lord myself. I will therefor be sure to inform Coin Lord Amanatu that you referred to him as “fat,” and I doubt the other Coin Lords will take kindly to your unflattering descriptions of their physical statures (particularly when you referred to Coin Lord Varen Lassite as a girl).

Happy Festivult!
The Jester

——-

Once again, I’d like to thank the House Cannith and Orien for their help delivering letters to me throughout the Festivult season. I hope everyone is having a safe and profitable Festivult!

Hello good little boys, girls, and animated constructs of Stormreach! I’ve sent this letter via the Orien courier service ahead of my arrival on Monday! I can’t wait to see you again! Please enjoy this festive poem to tide you over until my flight lands and I get settled in. Happy Festivult!

Festivult 2010

Twas the night before Festivult, and all through the game
The players were looking for Medusa to frame
The Chronoscope’s magic was in Tremas’ care
In hopes that some suckers… adventurers soon would be there

Then that little old Dwarf arrived with his packs
Offering even more Festivult snacks
In exchange for coins - copper, silver, and gold
Hidden in treasure chests earned by the bold

The cookies were nestled all snug in the banks
With buffs for divines, arcanists, and tanks
But it was so crowded, even with more shared space
That the cookies were starting to get frowny faced

When out from the Store there arose such a clatter
As ceramic containers became all the chatter
Cookie jars were here to hold Festivult treats
To free up room for loot without need of deletes!

“Now Velah! now, Titan, Beholder, and Xyzzy
In, Abbot! In, Stormreaver, Hezrou, and Abishai!
To the cookie jar with you, where you’ll wait to be eaten
To ensure the real versions of you can be beaten!”

Jack Frostbite sprang in with a toe like a missile
And called down from the ice jumps to all with a whistle
“Hey Jester don’t steal all the festive lime light!
Happy Festivult to all, and may you come try a flight!”

I’ve had a great time visiting Xen’drik in the warm season! It was nice to give you a little relief from the heat with some cool activities (best pun ever!). I must say I’m impressed with the amount of coins that people found for me this time around. I’m also pleased that so many brand new faces came to see me! I hope you enjoyed your festive treats. Remember to hang onto them, since they change every winter as the planes shift! Who knows, that measly cake this year could be the coolest one next year, you just never know (I did it again! Oh I can’t get enough of that pun. I’m worse than Tarrant with his “kick axe” obsession).

A special thanks also goes out to the House Orien for their assistance with the Festivult Stocking Stuffer lotteries. It was great fun to deliver some frosty cheer to unsuspecting adventurers! Oh, and if you’re one of those who won a “naughty” lottery, I hope you mend your ways before I come back to town in the winter (and I don’t mean cheating and getting one of those alignment changers to temporarily get yourself on my “good” list).

Remember that this weekend is the last chance to turn in any left over coins you have and finish up crafting those icy weapons on the Risian Altar with Jack Frostbite. So while I’m packing up my things for my migratory airship flight out of Xen’drik, did anyone get something extra special for their coins? I’d love to hear about it!

Until next time, Happy Festivult in July, and I’ll see you again in the winter!