more skagtatic content on
http://skaggythepoet@wordpress.com

or follow the link in my links

With one look I was hypnotised,
Your piercing eyes mesmerised.
You tied my tongue,
Leaving my words unspun.
Then while my lungs utter one last sigh,
And my eyes calcify.
I don’t fear you yet I’m petrified,
Never ever to leave your side.

Inspired from an idea by a listener .

You lucky adventurers come and go,
To and from the demon foe.
While I just wait here and stagnate,
Working all hours, early to late,
But now before I send you on your quest,
I’m going to get some things off my chest !
When I’m teleporting and in a hurry,
Please do not think it will be funny.
To ask to be teleported somewhere else,
When you know it won’t be good for your health.
Also you may find I’ve heard that joke before,
It’s not funny after a million times or more.
Anyway i once had dreams and ambitions you know,
This job was just going to be a stepping stone.
To greater things and better pay,
Now my only dream is to be allowed a holiday.
I complain to my boss each and every day,
That I’d even take leave without pay.
But my request always falls on deaf ears,
So I just keep teleporting you and your peers.
But just for last I’ll tell you the worst bit,
I’m not even allowed time off to go to the toilet.

A special poem written to celebrate 200 episodes of DDOcast, if you’re curious yes I did write another poem before this one, it was a spoof of Sgt Pepper. It stank !

I had an idea for a special 200 themed poem,
But my naughty dog without my knowing.
Crept up and ate up all my notes,
Chewing up everything I’d wrote.
Ok so this isn’t exactly true,
Let me explain the lack of poem for you.
My idea I’d worked on all week,
Ended up sounding rather cheap.
And my homage to DDO cast,
Might as well have come out my ass !
So I’ll instead just simply say,
Congrats DDO cast on your 200th birthday.

I resolve in my DDO gaming,
To be more bold.
To run weapons drawn,
To slaughter Kobolds.
Slicing,
Dicing.
But is this really the way I should resolve to play ?
As I could end up being res’d all night and day.

I resolve in my DDO gaming,
To be less bold.
Hiding in shadows,
To assassinate Kobolds.
Sneaking,
Spying.
And if I am as honest about this as I can be,
Probably realising this playstyle isn’t my cup of tea.

I resolve in my DDO gaming,
To play until I’m very old.
Joints creaking
As I fight OAP kobolds.
Chuckling,
Smiling.
So when my grand kids ask me where I’ve been,
I’ll say still trying to get a character to level 16.

Dear Santa, can i point out this year I have been really good,
So for starters could you bring me a +5 heart of wood ?
And while we’re talking presents if it’s not to much too demand,
I’d love to have a crafting system that I can understand.
You can stop me here Santa if you think I’m getting bold,
But any chance of climbing lessons so i can imitate Kobolds ?
Nearly finished Santa here’s my penultimate request to which to hark,
How about some actual useful Dragonmarks ?
Now for my last wish Santa and for this I need you to be mean,
But please deliver a kick up my arse so I can get a toon to at least level 15.

Much like Maddonna said that ” Papa don’t preach ” Skaggy don’t tweet cos he ain’t got time.

I’m dreaming of a white Korthos,
Where burning shaughin spit and glow.
Where bloodstains glisten,
And cultists listen,
To hear the dragon in the snow.

I’m dreaming of a quiet Korthos,
With every cultist that I smite.
May your questing be merry and bright,
And may you not have to run misery’s peak tonight.

On the twelfth day of festivalt the jester sent to me…..

12 rage quitters,
11 zergers zerging,
10 permadeathers perishing,
9 instances of lag,
8 parties wiping,
7 delayed druids,
6 pieces of vendor trash,
5 cruchy bits.
4 festivalt tokens,
3 random pug invites,
2 leftover pairs of vampire teeth,
and a 1 in a million chance of finding a bloodstone.

An icy attack from behind,
To which greed made me blind.
I twist and am reborn again into a from unkind,
Cold fingers round my soul entwined.

Ethereal froth splutters from my lips,
Screamed insanities from my mouth slip.
The warmth of your body I want to strip,
As I reach for you with my deathly grip.

You pause your emotions torn,
Shocked by my spectral form.
After all my death you mourned,
Yet here I am hideously reborn.

You warm me briefly as I hold you,
You warm me briefly as I drain you,
You warm me briefly as I kill you,
Yet my last thought is I still love you.